Song of the Day: Dim Lights, Thick Smoke

"Lizard Man"?

And giant, purple puppies didn't romp through their kitchen.

Someone tell me why the final two sentences of this piece were included.

Jasper police say they don't believe race played a role in the alleged incident.

The Blocks are white. The child is black.

Why does the media make race not being an issue an issue?

Well, as long as they destroyed D.C.'s gay district via eminent domain for something IMPORTANT.

Oh, look -- Bush has a new place to toss a ball!

I may hate the Washington National-Socialists even more than the Red Sox.

Why Clinton talks all the time about "predatory lenders" but never about "predatory borrowers."

Because she's one of them:

Hillary Rodham Clinton’s cash-strapped presidential campaign has been putting off paying hundreds of bills for months — freeing up cash for critical media buys but also earning the campaign a reputation as something of a deadbeat in some small-business circles.

Maybe she could pawn the furniture she stole from the White House.

In case you're jonesing for a hit of Yet Another Gore Slobber Piece...

... check out Lesley Stahl's drooljob from 60 Minutes last night.

Then email Stahl and ask her why, as long as she was in India, she didn't ask Gore why the Kyoto Protocol lets the two most populous countries on earth (China and India) off the hook on climate change, thus placing the U.S. at an economic disadvantage to them.

In his defense, the table came on to HIM.

Bellevue OH man caught having sex with a picnic table.

American Lung Association event causes rare lung disease.

I always knew governor's mansions were full of *ahem* guano.

And that the American Lung Association is hazardous to your health.

Here's proof:

After months of investigating, [Iowa] state health officials are confident a mysterious outbreak of a rare lung disease has its roots at the governor's mansion.

But they still don't have proof and other questions remain about how people were exposed to the disease at Terrace Hill.

State Epidemiologist Patricia Quinlisk says health officials are still awaiting test results to pin down the source of the histoplasmosis, an unusual but treatable lung disease.

...

Polk County doctors began reporting the disease, caused by an airborne fungi from bird or bat droppings, soon after the New Year's holiday.

Health officials worked to narrow the potential locations and connecting factors to the outbreak and determined many of those affected had attended an American Lung Association event at Terrace Hill on November 29th.

It wasn't a rock . . . it was a rock . . . Monstah!

Rock Monster replaying on Sci-Fi May 10.

Everbody had . . . matching towels.

I am strange.

Science project causes subway scare.

Look for the gunophobe Left to try to ban science now.

Wait a minnit; isn't the anti-evolution Right already working on that?

This election has been going on since, like, 1066 AD.

And balding presidential candidate John McCain has opted to concentrate on early general election ads instead of deciding on a running mate.

This campaign is dragging on so much that it reminds me of what sex must be like with Bob Newhart -- it piques your interest enough to get you into it at first, but halfway through, it's so boring you just want it to be over.

Brandon McInerney deserves to die. Period. End of discussion.

Rootbeer Madness!

Police thought they had an underage boozing party on their hands.

But though they made dozens of teens take breath tests, none tested
positive for alcohol. That's because the keg contained root beer.

The party was held by a high school student who wanted to show that
teens don't always drink alcohol at their parties.
...
Dustin Zebro, 18, said he staged the party after friends at D.C. Everest
High School got suspended from sports because of pictures showing them drinking
from red cups.
...
Nearly 90 breath tests were done, and officers even searched locked rooms for hiding teens.

Drinking from red cups is a suspendable offense? Drinking from red cups is probable cause to demand breath tests and room searches?

And didn't it occur to a single officer to smell what was coming out of the keg before they demanded 90 breath tests?

Welcome to the U.S.S.A.

Mmmm. . .mmm . . . Agenda!

So I'm at the grocery store in the soup aisle.

I like Chicken Noodle Soup; what can I say? Inside I'm still a kid.

I usually buy Always Save* but I'll buy Campbell's if it's on sale so much that the prices are close.

So I'm scanning the soups and I see these:

Is it too much to expect to be able to have a bowl of soup without buying into a political agenda?

The Campbell's was about a buck. The Always Save was about 40 cents. I bought the Always Save.

Maybe I ought to send the money I saved to some counterbalancing lobby such as People Against Trees.

*- For you non-Midwesterny minions, Always Save is (barely) one rung above generic.

Oh darn, I missed it!

Ah, Springfield.

Home of The 20-foot Inflatable Crawl-Through Interactive Super Colon! You TOO can be a Turd-Impersonator!!!

The interactive colon is a teaching tool.

How does this square with Springfield's other tourism slogan: Springfield, Where They Burn Down The Houses of Gay People?

No mention of whether or not Lemmiwinks and Paris Hilton are part of the exhibit.

Song of the Day: Music for the midget, transvestite version of R to exercise to at the Midget Transvestite Gym.

Another reason not to go camping.

Bigfoot's a perv.

The word of the day is . . .

. . . robosexual.

If this is an April Fool's joke, they're cheating. Beginning a joke early is against the rules.

Song of the Day.

These should be required viewing in school.

Senator Palpatine: Staying true to a consistent philosophy is a bad thing.

Of course, when one has no consistent philosophy, it's kind of hard to stay true to it.

Here's a quote from John McCain-Feingold:

"In this crisis, as in all I may face in the future, I will not allow dogma to override common sense," the prepared remarks said.

What's the phrase I use in situations like this? Oh, yes, here it is -- Ayn Rand would vomit.

The biggest thing I dislike about the Clintons is that they have no core belief system, no principles they won't compromise to get what they want. And John McCain is just like them.

Song of the Day: Where the sugarcane grows taller than the god we once believed in.

Perhaps they should have spent Spring Break studying instead of watching YouTube videos.

Last week was Spring Break in Thayer.

Friday, a couple of juniors or seniors (one with each type of reproductive fixtures) came into the library and checked their email and watched YouTube videos.

They weren't particularly loud or obnoxious.

As I was finishing up, the one with the external fixtures told the other one the video he was watching was really cool.

She looked over at the title and said "What is 'The Crau'?" Crau, pronounced like the Greek letter Tau. Rhymes with T'Pau.

He wouldn't answer her. She asked several more times what the crau is.

My curiousity aroused, as I got up to leave, I peeked over his shoulder.

It was this.

She grows up in rural America and she comes up with "The Crau"?

These are the results of our fine public school system in Missouri.

P.S. Anyone familiar with Paula Graham who responds with "Ich bin crau!" will get a good smack upside the head.

This is cleanup week in Thayer.

This is the week we are supposed to spruce up around the house and leave garbage that usually wouldn't be picked up out by the street.

Out my kitchen window I can see the rather small home of an elderly woman who pushes a shopping cart around town picking up aluminum cans to sell.

I looked out yesterday and the only words I could form in my head were "My God!"

There was a pile of what must have been decades of trash, some in boxes, some not, eight feet high and as long as the front border of her yard.

I call myself a hoarder, but when things get too bad I actually DO throw some things away and straighten up. I have nothing on this woman. The pile of trash was literally almost as big as her house.

Her house must be like the Tardis, bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.

I wonder if something has happened to her; I haven't seen her for a while. The last time I saw her she was pushing her cart down Vine Street for her rounds, being followed by a cat, and later that day back up Vine Street, being followed by the same cat. When was that? A month ago? Last fall? I really have no idea.

I looked at that pile with sadness. This is this woman's life, thrown out by the curb for everyone to see. These were her treasures, and each thing no doubt meant something to her. And it was all being thrown away after being on display for everyone to gawk at.

It was sad, but what happened next was just obscene.

The scavengers came.

I am not above plucking something out of these piles if it's something I'll use every year. In fact, I was eyeballing the treadmill out by the street next door, but somebody beat me to it and it disappeared.

But spotting a thing as you drive by, stopping and picking it up, is different from spending hours going through a pile of someone else's life piece by piece, and that's what the scavengers did.

Some spent literally hours sifting through this woman's trash, showing no respect for this woman's life at all. At times there were ten people or more.

It felt like I was watching a flock of vultures devour the bloated carcass of the woman herself.

In a wierd way, I kind of hope something happened to her, so she wouldn't have to feel the shame and embarrassment of the grotesque blood orgy as her life's collection was defiled.

One for MythBusters.

I think someone should test the old urban legend that says everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it.

I suggest taking a series of random things and smearing them with Blue Bonnet margarine and then rating them to see if they are indeed better.

Go to the MythBusters forums and suggest they take up this myth here.

But I thought it was brewed in Texas.

This will no doubt be disturbing to some of my Lone Star readers.

Shiner Inks $3.5 Million in Contracts
Shiner Signs $3.5 Million in Contracts to Supply Coated Films
March 24, 2008: 08:28 AM EST


NEW YORK (Associated Press) - Shiner International Inc. said Monday it received a $3.5 million contract to supply coated films to consumer goods makers in Australia and New Zealand.

The China-based company said the films are used in packaging of food, tobacco, drugs and cosmetics.

Now that I think about it, "Spoetzl" does sound kind of foreign.

I would think, though, that if it was a Chinese word, it would have more "X"s, "I"s and "U"s.

Gee, ya THINK?!?!!

It turns out being crucified may be hazardous to your health.

The Philippines government has issued an Easter public heath warning - on the dangers of crucifixion.

Thousands of worshippers in the Philippines will this week practice crucifixion and self flagellation to show their faith.

The government is encouraging them to get a tetanus shot first and be sure to use a clean whip or nails, reports the Daily Telegraph.

I'm so glad there are governments to tell me these things. There's no way I could figure them out on my own.

And just this morning, I was thinking that since there is no danger whatsoever, today would be a good day to get crucified. Thank God the Phillipine government is around to save me from myself.

To the Weather Service, 500 equals less than 26.

They called the flooding in late winter 1982 a 500-year flood, meaning those levels would be reached once every 500 years.

The same rivers that flooded then flooded this time, and many reached higher levels.

"This could rival and in some places top the flood of 1982," said Jeff Ranieri, forecaster at NBC's weatherplus.com, speaking from Fenton.

A is not A. 500 is less than 26. War is Peace. Freedom is slavery.

Remember when words had actual meanings?

Oh, look!

The evil Bill Richardson from the Mirror Universe has endorsed Obama.

Product Anti-Endorsement.

Al Gore be damned.

Don't buy Seventh Generation toilet paper.

Because apparently the previous six generations were sandpaper.

I know this from experience.

Song of the Day: Smoke gets in your eyes.

Dunno about posting Monday.

Haven't heard yet if the library will be closed.

I'm guessing it will.

These are government employees we're talking about here, so they have no objection to Easter Sunday falling on a Monday if it means a paid day off.

But speaking of Easter:

Gummint Cheese: The Great Shopping List Debate.

The word of the day is . . .

... kleptocracy.

A kleptocracy (sometimes cleptocracy) (root: klepto+kratein = rule by thieves) is a term applied to a government that extends the personal wealth and political power of government officials and the ruling class (collectively, kleptocrats) at the expense of the population.

Which is what we have here in the U.S.S.R. If taxation is theft (and it is), then it must follow that those in power who seek to increase taxation (such as Senators Obama, McCain, and Rodham-Clinton) are thieves. So why do we keep electing thieves?

[H/T 2 Milt Rosenberg, who on the show Extension 720 uses excellent words like "hegemony" and "kleptocracy." I'm guessing they don't listen to the show much in Rio Linda.]

I am fully aware they are an evil corporation that is manipulating my emotions to sell me dog food.

But still.

Echo got adopted! Yay!

Original ad:



Update here:



Must . . . buy . . . Pedigree!

Question.

If Madonna and Guy Ritchie divorce, who gets custody of the fake British accent?

Did they fricasse him?

Question: What have they done with that genetic experiment gone horribly awry, the Cadbury Bunny? I haven't seen him (or his later incarnations*) at all this year; has anyone?

* - I know there was one featuring baby bunnies that went "Peep peep" instead of "Bock Bock," but I can't find it.

Dispatch from the MDZ*.

I discovered Wednesday night that our basement was flooded. We've lived here going on eight years and until now, the closest the basement has ever come to flooding is a sort of dampness on the steps and floor just in front of the door, so I didn't even think to check on it until after the worst of the rain had stopped.

My first attempt at draining the basement (siphoning it out through a garden hose) was a spectacular failure.

After fishing the garage-sale Shop-Vac out of the basement with my old wooden street hockey stick while standing at the door, I spent part of Wednesday night and several hours yesterday sucking out the water out, six gallons at a time. Luckily, one of the electrical outlets in the basement is attached to the ceiling instead of mounted on the wall, so it was dry, and by sheer chance one extension cord was on the living level instead of in the basement, under water with the rest of them. I managed to reach the outlet from the door, so I didn't have to step in the electrified water (both the circuit breaker and the electric water heater are in the basement.) I've got most of the water out and am now left trying to figure out how to clean up the mudsludge that's left, while trying to keep ahead of the water that continues to seep through the uphill wall.

The stuff itself in the basement isn't all that important; much of it was stashed there eight years ago when we moved in and hasn't been touched since, but a lot of it was in cardboard boxes on the floor, and that's gonna be one major messy pain in the ass to clean up. Maybe I'll do that today; I can't wait too long or the mold will get a foothold.

That means I can't wait for the mudsludge to dry out a little bit. God, what a mess.

Still, I guess I got off pretty easy, after all, the President says I'm in the middle of a Major Disaster Zone.


* - MDZ = "Major Disaster Zone."

Song of the Day: Puffin' a Winston, drinkin' a 4-0.

Day2 of 40 and my ark's not built.

I woke up yesterday to torrential downpours and the culvert under my driveway plugged up with leaves and debris, sending whitewater rapids down the sidewalk.

If I'd had a raft, I could have shot the rapids.

And that is just barely hyperbole.

Like an idiot, I grabbed a shovel and tried for half an hour in the cold, pelting rain to unplug it. I cleared out as far as the shovel handle would reach but it was still stopped up.

So I did what any upstanding Libertarian would do.

I called city hall. The drainage ditch is, after all, their responsibility. And it was plugged up with leaves that washed down off of their road.

And generally, Libertarians don't mind people going to the government for help, as long as they've genuinely and honestly tried to fix the problem themselves first but can't.

An hour later, it was unplugged.

It has been raining ever since. Thayer is as flooded as I've ever seen it.

Story on Spring River flooding, just south of Thayer, here.



I'm trying to get FEMA to come to Thayer and look at the flood levels, so they can adjust their inaccurate floodplain maps, but I'm not having much luck so far.

Question.

I'm thinking over what sort of "Awareness Month" April should be. Right now it's a tossup between "Fat People Awareness Month" and "80's Television Awareness Month."

If it's 80's Television Awareness Month, each day I post would start with the intro to one of my favorite 80's TV shows.

The question is:

Who the f*** is Tim Dunigan, and what has he done with Dirk Benedict?


BONUS QUESTION: WHAT THE F*** IS THIS?

Happy St. Patrick's Day, all!

On this day, we celebrate the anniversary of St. Patrick driving all the children out of Ireland with his magic flute!

Enjoy your favorite green beverage responsibly.

Product Endorsement.

Mmmmmmmm!

If you don't hear from me after a few weeks, you'll know the Fat Police got me.

The calls to ban it . . .

. . . will begin in 3...2...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Electronic Cigarette.

The "E-Cig", or Electronic Cigarette, is claimed to be safe because there is no tobacco, tar, or smoke. The pen-sized cigarette is made of plastic and metal and is battery charged. The tiny white cartridges contain water, propylene glycol, nicotine, and a tobacco flavor, and supply enough nicotine for up to two packs of cigarettes.

Why would anyone want to ban such a marvelous product, you might ask. Wouldn't it nullify the arguments of the second-hand-smoke crusaders?

That is precisely why there will be calls for it to be banned.

You can't cut your strongest proponents off at the knees, now can you?

And besides, there's a movement afoot to ban these, isn't there? Doesn't that demonstrate that those who are ban-happy don't need a reason?

Don't hold your breath.

Caroline Baum of Bloomberg News suggests a John Galt Plan to fix the economy.

Today's economic and financial crisis would resolve itself more quickly and efficiently if the government got out [the hell] of the way.

But her own closing remarks demonstrate why it won't happen.

The bigger the mess, the more urgent the calls for a government solution, the more willing government is to oblige.

The purpose of the U.S. government since and including the New Deal isn't to protect people's rights, Caroline. It isn't even to ease every burden, as the Left would have you believe.

The purpose of post-Depression government in the United States is to grow the government.

And the people wouldn't stand for that if all the problems were solved.

So the problems won't get solved. The government will continue to cause problems and claim it's solving them, so the poor and uneducated will continue to believe they're being "rescued."

Newest Guilty Pleasure.

Pop Fiction on E!

Amazingly, it's not only the tabloids and the TMZs that take the bait. E! itself and CNN also bite.

Demonstrates what I've been saying for years -- don't trust the media.

Song of the Day: Once it hits his brain, starts to chain-react

Song of the Day: I was born in a dump

What if they had an election . . .

. . . and no one came?

Tangentially, if an election happens in the forest, with no one around to vote in it, did it really happen?

I should tell R about this.

3/15,16 & 21,22: Have your photo taken with the Easter Bunny free at Wal-Mart.

I should also tell a convention of Furries about it, so they could have their picture taken free of them group-assaulting the Easter Bunny.

Who holds the meeting?

The April Thayer city council meeting will be Tuesday, April 8th, beginning at 7:00 PM.

The Thayer city elections will be Tuesday, April 8th, with the polls closing at 7:00 PM.

The votes won't be counted yet.

How will they know who's supposed to be at the meeting?

It is frustrating being one of a very few rational minds in an irrational society.

What?

So I'm doing a little research on CRIMESTAR after hearing the city council discuss it last night.

I figure I might need to know a little about it on the off chance that I'll get elected and have to vote on whether or not to purchase the system for Thayer's police force.

One paragraph in, I come across this (emphasis mine):

CrimeStar software is a completely integrated, flexible and powerful information management tool for law enforcement and public safety. Crimestar's reputation for providing high quality, easy to use, affordable software, has made us the vendor of choice for today's progressive law enforcement officials.

That can't mean what it seems to mean, can it? And if it doesn't, what on earth DOES it mean?

What is a progressive law enforcement official? And how is he different from a normal law enforcement official? And how does CRIMESTAR help progressive law enforcement officials but not normal ones?

I'm so confused.

And now a word from ...

March 12, 1929.

Today would have been my dad's 79th birthday.

Yesterday I planted a white rose tree for him and a yellow rose bush for my uncle Jim, who passed away last month.

Maybe the NY Times should change their motto.

How about "All the Unverified Innuendo That's Fit to Invent and/or Plagiarize."?

Weren't they supposed to clean up their act after the Jayson Blair thing?

At least the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS didn't insist that you believe it was a real newspaper.

Note to John Hinckley, Michael Smegal et al.

Dudes, you're wasting your time.

It's not gonna happen; she ain't interested.

I'm pretty sure she plays for the other team.

Lisa Marie: One cannot be fat and pregnant at the same time.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

One is a Sith; the other Black Irish.

Senators Palpatine* and O'Bama win MS primaries.



* - a.k.a. John McCain-Feingold

Song of the Day: The Incomparable Patsy Cline

I finally found a replacement for Drudge Radio...

... Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Brian Gongol.

Pregga Ballin'.

With a name like Pregabalin, you'd think it was a fertility drug.

Or maybe a birth-control pill.

But you'd be wrong.

It's for fibromyalgia.

This has been Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

How much free energy . . .

... would be produced if every revolving door in America was equipped with one of these?

And while you're at it, get to work on outfitting every stationary bike in every gym in America with a similar device.

What are you waiting for? CHOP CHOP!!!

Here's one . . .

... for the What Is This? portion of Kippy's sidebar.

What is this?

Good thing Ben Franklin didn't live in modern(ish)-day Kentucky...

... because this doofus would have him rounded up for publishing under a pseudonym in Poor Richard's Almanac.

Kentucky Representative Tim Couch filed a bill this week to make anonymous posting online illegal.

The bill would require anyone who contributes to a website to register their real name, address and e-mail address with that site.

Their full name would be used anytime a comment is posted.

Bitching about the anonymity of a poster is a too-easy way to evade dealing with the content of his posting.

Inherent in freedom of speech is the freedom NOT to speak about certain things, including one's own identity.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Straight Outta Orwell.

War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Poor is Gifted.

[I]nstead of improving the overall education for all students in order to bring minority students up to snuff so as to qualify them for entrance into a gifted program, the Denver Schools are just going to “add points” to the tests for kids merely because they are “poor,” or if “English is their second language.”

Voila, more “gifted” kids abound in Denver.

Quote of the Day.

From Grizzly Groundswell:

John McCain is Bob Dole minus the charm, conservatism and youth.

Song of the Day: A little bit deadlier.

Gummint Cheese: Encounter at the Park.

Legislating "ugly."

Ah, the Aesthetics Police are on the march again.

SPRINGDALE — The city ordinance committee on Wednesday discussed ways to keep “ugly,” hand-painted signs off Don Tyson Parkway, the $ 38-million southern corridor running from 48 th Street east to Butterfield Coach Road.

...

Alderman Kathy Jaycox said the road needs to be protected from the eye pollution caused by sloppy, gaudy signs, the likes of which line U. S. 412 and U. S. 71 Business.


...
Perry Webb, president of the Springdale Chamber of Commerce, also attended the meeting. He said there has to be a way to keep “ugly” signs painted by “Uncle Rudolph” from appearing in Springdale.

He suggested creating a review process through which city staff could determine if a handpainted sign is “professional” and thus appropriate for display.

Except that "ugly," "sloppy," "gaudy," and "professional" are words without objective definitions. One man's ugly is another man's beautiful.

Just ask Judge Judy's husband.

Why Minnesotan smokers rock.

Ah, the ingenuity of smokers!

All the world's a stage at some of Minnesota's bars. A new state ban on smoking in restaurants and other nightspots contains an exception for performers in theatrical productions. So some bars are getting around the ban by printing up playbills, encouraging customers to come in costume, and pronouncing them "actors."

At least when ALIENS abduct you, you get a free probe.

Centerton AR mayor resigns, claims to have been abducted by Satan worshippers.

I hate it when that happens.

[H/T 2 Drudge.]

Road House curse?

Kevin and Tom remind me that Patrick Swayze (Road House, To Wong Foo) has pancreatic cancer. Coupled with the recent passing of Jeff Healey, this brings up the possibility of a Road House curse (or nuclear testing near the filming).

Get a checkup, Sam Elliot.

When You Absolutely, Positively Have To Put Your Ding-Dong In A Clothes-Dryer.

Cameras catch Fed-Ex Guy putting Ding-Dongs in dryers in Salem (AR) laundromat.

Story here.

Quote of the Day: "The moral of this story is, be careful where you put your Ding-Dong."

Aside: Does anyone else hear the creepy, metallic alien voices behind the speaking of Michelle and Natalie, or is it just me?

Aside 2: Natalie Swallow, heh-heh.

Song of the Day: I'm gonna meet the boys on floor number 2.

They lied.

They say we got 6" of snowfall yesterday.

They are lying.

We had at least four inches the first time I shovelled the sidewalk and driveway.

Another six inches the second time.

Why is there a conspiracy to devalue snowfall?

On a related note, I built an angry snowcat.

While inside looking for AAA batteries for my digicam, the snowcat's head fell off.

I hacked his body to pieces with the snowshovel.

Good to see . . .

. . . I'm not the only one wondering why Hillary Clinton is fully dressed at three in the morning.



Unless she kept whoever's calling her at three in the morning waiting while she gets dressed up.

He was in one of the best bad movies ever . . .

. . . and now he's gone.

Jeff Healey, star of Road House, dies of cancer at 41.

The destruction of the Republican Party . . .

. . . has begun.

McCain will lose if Obama is the Democrat nominee.

McCain will probably lose if Clinton is the Democrat nominee.

The only thing worse for conservatives and true Republicans would be if he won.

Democracy is three Democrats and a Nazi running for President.

It's pretty much official -- I'll be voting for a third party (virtually certainly this one) for President this November. The only scenario in which I wouldn't is if McCain-Feingold picks Nanny Huckabee as his running mate AND it looks like Missouri will be close.

In that situation, I'd give serious thought to voting for the Democrat.

Game the exit polls.

I am so sick of the media projecting the winner as soon as the polls in a state close, before a single actual vote has been counted.

Apparently, they didn't learn their lesson from Florida '00.

For the duration of this election cycle, whenever I am polled, I am going to lie. I will pick the most absurd answer from the options the pollster gives and tell them that is my choice.

Join me in gaming the polls if you like. One person is Don Quixote. Two is a prank. Three is the beginning of a movement.

Remember, you don't owe them the truth when the truth is none of their business.

And think how stupid CNN will look on a Wednesday this November, after the actual votes have been counted, the morning after they project Ralph Nader as the next President of the United States of America.

Song of the Day: Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette.

The crud creeps on.

More like salty Jell-O-filled sinuses now.

And the weather's s'posed to be bad for the next few days.

See you on the other side.

Free The Readington 29!

NJ students suspended for paying with pennies to protest shortened lunch break.

Readington Township school officials gave 29 students detention after they used pennies to pay for their $2 lunches.

I think they ought to get extra credit.

Money is money, right?

There's a myth floating around that pennies are not legal tender in quantities over 100. Snopes explains this is not true.

But next time, I'd use nickels, just to be safe.

UPDATE: The Readington 29 Pardoned!

3rd Party Animal PSA.

Question.

I may have asked this before, but events this morning necessitate asking again.

Can you sue for being exposed to Secondhand Ugly?

During Smoker Awareness Month, we honor the achievements of Smoker-Americans in our past.

Song of the Day: The flame that burned that somehow turned to smokerings in the dark.

In honor of Smoker Awareness Month: