Tuesday, June 23, 2009

If ever you find yourself four to a room in a European hostel . . .

... and two of the four are named Klaus and Gunter, and they are twirling a ribbon streamer, and they are dressed as Euroweenie rave trash, and they have a 1986 boombox, and there is music blaring from it, there is a pretty good chance it sounds like this:

What's a polite way to say BIG FAT LIAR?

Oh, I know.

Obama's remarks upon signing the tobacco legislation yesterday are inconsistent with reality.

This legislation will not ban all tobacco products, and it will allow adults to make their own choices.

Well, no. Clearly it won't.

The new law bans candy and fruit flavors in tobacco products[.]

So as an adult, I will be prevented from buying an orange-flavored cigarette (similar to those Camel used to make) or a chocolate-flavored one. How does that allow adults to make their own choices?

Prohibition is alive and well, folks. I just didn't know they'd get around to banning FLAVORS so soon.

The War on Pleasure marches on.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Iran riots over stolen election.

Apparently in sympathy, L.A. riots also.

Here in flyover country, we don't tend to riot much.

Idea for response to the 21st-century Prohibition.

If it pisses you off that the government hassle has made or WILL make you quit smoking, here's an idea:

Write down how much money you WOULD have spent on cigarettes each day. Come election time, use that amount to punish one of the freedom-haters in Congress.

If your Representative or Senator voted for the latest restrictions, for example, donate half of that money to a primary challenger against him or her, and half to a general election challenger.

If your guy voted AGAINST this monstrosity, donate half to him or her, and pick out one of the Prohibitionists that voted YES and spend the other half trying to get them defeated.

The YES/NOs can be found here and here.

Suspend HABEAS CORPUS and you TOO can be on lots of denominations of currency!

That guy that ignored the Constitution is on the five, on the Illinois quarter, and now on BOTH sides of the penny.

How much did this redesign cost taxpayers?

And, as long as they were redesigning it, why didn't they find a cheaper metal (like aluminum) to make it with, so that it doesn't cost 1.2 cents to make a penny anymore?

I'm 3 for 3.

I wonder if I'm the only one texting The Brian Gongol Show. I've texted them three times, and so far every one has been commented on on the show.

One was a week ago last night, when I said GM is already dead and the government is wearing the corpse like Buffalo Bill in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.

Then, during the week, I texted a question about how many of those "ready to repay" banks are the ones that didn't WANT a bailout in the first place, but were FORCED to take one by the government, so that now the government, upon repayment, can say "See? It WORKED!"

Brian was short-handed last night and I didn't think he was going to get around to that one, because he wanted to talk about Iran and Iowa's self-image problem, so I texted that people outside Iowa don't know much of anything about it other than corn, caucuses and Radar O'Reilly (sp?). I didn't mention how easily Iowa was confused with Ohio and Idaho postally, or how it looks pretty much like Nebraska East to outsiders. That one made it on, then in the waning few minutes he read the bank text on the air.

He moved on to his YAY CAPITALISM BABY and TINFOIL HAT awards. The Tinfoil Hat award was about renaming Sears Tower to Willis Tower. I didn't have time to text in "At least it's not 'Willis Tower, brought to you by Preparation H'" before he went off the air. We'll see next Sunday night (starting at 9 PM, 1040-AM) if that one gets on, or if by then it's time will have passed.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Bonus Democrat Knock-Knock Joke.


"Who's there?"

"Barack Obama."

"Pardon me; I have to go change my panties. The mere mention of His name makes me Moist Down There!"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know this was the Mainstream Media's house!"

Democrat knock-knock joke.


Who's there?

Barack Obama.

Hurry inside, Mr. President! Sandy Berger's in the area and he might stuff you down his pants and run off with you!

My life is boring.

No substantial posts lately. My life is fascinating, no.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


FIAT: noun, an arbitrary decree or pronouncement, esp. by a person or group of persons having absolute authority to enforce it: The king ruled by fiat.

FIAT MONEY: noun, irredeemable paper currency, not resting on a specie basis, but deriving its purchasing power from the declaratory fiat of the government issuing it.

[Both definitions from dictionary.com.]

Chrysler gets go-ahead for Fiat rescue

US President Barack Obama said Chrysler had "a new lease on life" as a result of a substantial commitment by the US Government and "sacrifices from all stakeholders involved".

[Update:] nonhocapito weighs in:

We all remember when recently Obama asked for a FIAT-CHRYSLER partnership as a pre-requisite to help CHRYSLER. Many wondered why that should be, since FIAT is such a small and pretty insignificant brand in the world of car-makers.

I am italian and I assure you that even from our small province this request appeared as pretty strange.

I think that the answer is in the Bilderberg attendees list, since one of the members is John Elkann, vice-chairman and major shareholder of FIAT (while a FORMER member was the CEO of Damien Chrysler).

You have to wonder why, the more outrageous Alex Jones' claims are, the more spot-on they seem to be.

Bonus Democrat Knock-knock Joke.


"Who's there?"

"Barack Obama. I hear you clinging to your guns and religion in there! Stop it RIGHT NOW!!!"

Another Democrat Knock-knock Joke.


"Who's there?"

"Barack Obama."

"Ted Kennedy left a message for you. He wants to take you on a car ride over the Chappaquiddick Bridge."

"But I'm not pregnant!"

I would think . . .

. . . satellites could be used for a better purpose than watching penguins poop.

The brown-haired girl is obviously a Democrat.

Note how happy she is when Suit Guy (who represents the Nanny State) gives her a toy pony. Then note how quickly her happiness turns to the Green-Eyed Monster when someone else gets something better.

Monday, June 1, 2009

"Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Bill Clinton. Me & Janet are having a b-b-q and wondered if you'd like to come over." "What's on the menu?" "Branch Davidian children."